If you are looking for a book that will help you talk through tough stuff, you might consider, Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time by Susan Scott.
One of the author’s key ideas is that we would all be better off if we talked about what mattered most. How does one know what matters most? She offers a couple great questions you might ask yourself prior to starting a conversation with someone.
- What have I not been saying to this person?
- What topics am I most concerned the other person might bring up during our conversation?
- What am I pretending not to know?
Think of one relationship you have that is important to you. Ask yourself these questions in terms of this relationship. The answer, Scott suggests, is that which matters most.
To me, going from one fierce conversation to another appears full of risk. The author combats this fear with another couple questions.
- What’s the risk associated with avoiding this conversation?
- What’s the potential upside to engaging in this conversation?
The consequence we most fear, according to Scott, is that by talking about that which matters most…
- We will be known
- We will be seen
- We will be changed
Here’s to fierce conversations.