Control What You Can
In any workshop I give, there’s usually one objection a participant can (and often does) make. I know it’s coming because I get the warning words first, “Yeah, but…” There are unlimited variations, but the objection remains basically the same. It goes something like this. “What you are saying is all well and good, but what if the other guy doesn’t cooperate?”
It’s a fantastic challenge, and one for which I have a common response, “What if they do/don’t?” For example, imagine I’m helping people learn how to express an unpopular opinion with respect and the objection in this scenario is that it might not work because the other person could get mad and say something that starts a fight.
They may choose all kinds of disrespectful or aggressive responses. You can’t control that response, but when you offer your next comment, you will have complete control over what you will say. You could a) Stick with the respectful and assertive approach you initiated the conversation with or b) Change your tact to better match the other person’s disrespectful manner. Which path is more likely to lead to a successful conclusion?
Workshops are ideal settings. The mistakes don’t matter and people play nice. In the real world the stakes are much higher and the other players don’t already know their lines. Our job is to remember we can’t control anyone but ourselves and proceed with the belief that what we choose will make a difference on the outcome.
Photo by kkimpel
