The second, while typically louder and nastier, is actually easier to deal with. The reason is that you have lots of people who don’t appreciate the behavior. There is strength in numbers. If collectively the group provides the bully with unpleasant consequences, the person may decide that the bullying behaviors aren’t working and try something new (and hopefully less nasty).

The first is the bigger problem. If you are on the receiving end and are the sole target for the bad behavior, you may feel more vulnerable to attack. In these cases, you have three actions you can take in the following sequence.

1. Talk to the bully. Be direct and respectful. Describe the behavior. State clearly that you don’t like it and that you want the behavior to stop. Hopefully for many people who weren’t completely aware how their actions were affecting you, this conversation might be enough to stop the behavior. As an option, you could add a final component to your message. And this would be stating what action you will take next if it doesn’t stop.
2. Report the behavior. If the person is too scary to confront or you have already done so without a positive result, it’s time to tell someone who can help you. In most cases, discussing the matter with your supervisor is the logical first step. Alternatives include an HR rep, union rep, or another trusted manager. It usually helps to have details about the behavior: What, when, how often, impacts, etc. This sort of documentation makes it easier for them to take action on your behalf.
3. Remove yourself from the situation. Sometimes the person just won’t stop the bullying. And in some of those cases, people aren’t able or willing to help you. It’s then that finding a way out becomes a viable last resort. This could mean asking for another assignment or to be physically moved to a work location that’s farther from the bully. It could mean transferring to another department. If all else fails, it could mean looking for work in another organization.

Bullies do a tremendous amount of damage. Typically they won’t change their behavior without some sort of intervention. If you are on the receiving end of this bad behavior, it’s up to you to get the ball rolling.

Think about a task that you have to do, one that you don’t enjoy but feel is necessary. For me cleaning the house and exercising both come to mind. Consider for a moment the amount of energy you put into doing this task, the satisfaction you get from completing it, and the quality of the results.

Now contrast this with something you enjoy. For me this could be making a presentation for a group. Again consider your energy, satisfaction and results.

Last reflection item. Think about the tasks that make up most of what you get paid to do. How much do you enjoy them? Of course every job has some bad parts, but when you think about what you spend most of your time doing; can you say that you genuinely like it? Let’s hope so.

But what if you don’t? Many of us have probably at one point in our lives found ourselves in this situation. With it comes what appears to be the hard, cold facts. You need a job; this one pays pretty well, and you’re not sure you can make a comparable living doing something that you actually like. They might be facts or they might be fears and insecurities finding a voice in you.

If you are currently stuck in this place, it’s time to start exploring your options. The way I see it, you have three of them. You’ll need to figure out which one makes the most sense for you.

• Hang in there and collect the checks. This is generally considered the safest option. After all, it pays the bills, and you know how to do the job. The trouble is that you aren’t happy, and what’s happiness worth to you? Also, what effect is your lack of enthusiasm having on the results, your co-workers, your family, your health?
• Figure out how to reconfigure your job to better match your interests. This option isn’t easy. It takes some creativity. It requires a flexible employer. It takes some courage to explore the options. After all, by asking for what you want, aren’t you also implying that you are currently unhappy in your job? Most would see this as a dangerous thing to admit. But with a little finesse, it’s an option that should be on the table.
• Look for a new job. The saddest story I hear is from people who have been working in one place for 20+ years and don’t like the organizations or the jobs. When I ask them why they stayed, they almost always look at me like I’m crazy. Apparently the reason is obvious. They didn’t have a choice. Oh really? I don’t buy it. There are plenty of ways to make a living, and I’ve got to believe that there’s something for everyone. Your job is to figure out what that is and then take some initiative in making it happen.

I can’t say what option is best for anyone. After all, it’s your job and your life. Only you can know what’s right. My only bit of advice is that you give serious consideration to all the options. Once you’ve figure it out, develop your plan and take some action. Each of us is loaded with potential, we just need to find the right environment to unleash it.

Workplace stress levels seem to be at all time highs. With budgets slashed and staffing levels cut; many people have too much to do and not enough time to get it all done.

When stress levels go up, teamwork often heads in the other direction. Stress affects us in a variety of ways. It saps our energy, changes our moods, and messes with our concentration. Instead of supporting each other, we start snapping at our teammates. Bad behavior wears on relationships.

While stress does create a lot of problems in organizations, it doesn’t necessarily have to. How do I know? Because there are plenty examples where two people can be in the exact same circumstances, one deals with it while the other melts down. This same phenomenon shows up when examining whole departments and even organizations. Some remain effective during tough times and others don’t.

Learning to manage our stress and applying what we learn is part of being an effective team member. One might also say it’s part of being an adult. I do a lot of stress management workshops, and share with people the same strategies that others before me have shared. The information isn’t new. The problem is that we don’t apply it. Which of these strategies might you make use of in your team?

• Use diversion. If you aren’t thinking about the stressors in your life, they won’t affect you. So one popular and relatively easy strategy is to distract yourself by watching a movie, playing with your kids, or diving into your favorite hobby. Taking your mind off the problem for awhile isn’t a long term fix, but it’s a great way to give your body and mind a break.
• Straighten out your thinking. Stress isn’t a result of what happens to us; it’s a result of the story we tell ourselves about what happens to us. Sometimes those stories are pretty incredible. They don’t represent reality and aren’t helpful. Make sure the stories you tell yourself make sense. The power of positive thinking really is…well…powerful.
• Solve the problem. Most of the things that cause stress in our lives can be defined as problems. The best way I know to remove stress is to solve the problem that’s creating it. Life is full of problems. Instead of worrying about them, why not take action? Think about those times where you gave more energy to worrying about the problem than you gave to actually solving it. That’s what I call wasted energy.

Stress really can mess up our relationships and teamwork. If you notice it taking a toll on yours, revisit the three strategies and put one or more of them to work for you.

I suspect most of us would like to think our life had an impact.  We ponder big questions about changing the world and then get bogged down by the enormity of the challenge.

Here are some ideas for making this reflection process more manageable.

1)  Recognize that I don’t need to think in terms of worlds, countries, states, or cities.  They are just too big. Perhaps, I can define a tiny portion of the world that is within my sphere of influence.

2)  Look at my list of important issues and simply choose one on which I will focus my attention.

3)  Study the issue. Find out what the problems are and what is being done. Get to know real people who are involved with the issue. Listen to the stories. By immersing myself, I may discover the spark that ignites my passion.

4)  At the same time I am learning about the issue, look for opportunities both big and small to support the cause and then take action.

Alone, none of these will make a big difference, but each will make some difference, and that is a step in the right direction. Mother Teresa summed it up best when she said, “What we do is less than a drop in the ocean. But if it were missing, the ocean would lack something.”

Photo by spettacolopuro

It’s 2010 and you’re back to work.  Now what?  Well you could start by reading your email and going through that big pile of paper on your desk.  Then you could check your calendar and figure out which meeting is first for the day.  After a couple hours it’s time to step out for a little lunch.  Back to your desk, more email, more piles to work on, more meetings to attend.  End of the first day, whew!  You’re outta there and heading for home.  Tomorrow you’ll be back and do it all again.

That’s certainly one scenario that might play out for you.  We’ll label it the “Business as usual” scenario.  The question I have for you is whether that’s what you want.  Do you want to show up each day and simply respond to what is thrown your way, going through the motions as you have on so many days that have come before this one?  It’s easy to do.  You’re good at it.  Routine is comfortable.  Autopilot takes less energy.

Let’s consider at least one other scenario.  In this one you’ve shown up to work on the first day of the year with a vision of how things could be.  You’ve got a goal that made you leap out of bed with excitement.  When you arrive, the first order of business is to begin developing your plan for how to meet this goal.  You take care of the stuff that needs tending, but your focus is clearly on the goal and what it will take to achieve it.

It’s a new year.  Your are in charge of your own life.  What’s your vision?  What will it take to bring it to life?  Now go get it.

If you’re like me, around this time of year I usually start thinking about my goals for the coming year. Before making your 2010 plans, I invite you to slow down just a bit and reflect on how you did in 2009.  Here are some questions that might help you discover something that will be useful to you in the coming year.

What did you accomplish?  What did you attempt but came up short of expectations?  What did you completely ignore and forget about?

What seemed to work?  What didn’t work?

What major obstacles got in the way?  What little obstacles gently knocked you off your plan?

What were your most interesting distractions?  What did you do about them?

What do you want to do differently in 2010?  What will you need in order to do so?

The new year is just around the corner.  That means new plans and exciting possibilities.  Just remember the year you are leaving behind.  It still has some lessons to teach.

Photo by trublueboy

Parents often ask their children, “What did you learn in school today?” It might be interesting if your children responded with, “Gee Mom/Dad, we’d rather hear what you learned at work today.” How would you respond?

Sometimes it seems like learning is only something children and teens do during the school years. Not anymore. Life throws many changes at us. If we don’t keep learning, we quickly fall behind.

For example, suppose computer skills weren’t taught when you were in school. Now computers not only play an important role in education, they touch every aspect of our lives. So what do you do? You have two choices. You can either accept the fact that you don’t understand computers or you can start learning now.

Continuous learning doesn’t have to involve a lot of extra effort. Many important lessons aren’t learned in the classroom. They can be found in your daily routine. The trick is recognizing and applying them. If you want to be a life long learner, you might begin by asking yourself, “What did I learn today?” each night before bed. You are probably learning more than you realize.

Photo by krossbow

The idea of making goals SMART has been around for quite some time now. As a refresher, the acronym stands for:

• Specific
• Measurable
• Achievable
• Relevant
• Time-bound

With any idea like this, it doesn’t do much good if you only know what the five components are. You have to use them.

When looking back on goals I’ve had but didn’t accomplish, there were usually one or two SMART components missing in my intentions.

Recently I had the goal to learn to program in JAVA. Two days later I ditched it when I realized it had no relevancy. I have no need to learn to program.

Many times during my life I’ve wanted to write a book. This one never seems to get going because it isn’t time-bound and specificity is a problem, since I’m not sure what I want to write about.

And I can’t even begin to list all the goals that don’t happen because they are not achievable. Oh they very well might be possible, but until there’s a working plan on the table, it ain’t going to happen. Making goals is fun. Figuring out how to achieve them is an entirely different process.

So the next time you hear yourself saying that you have a goal to [           ], be sure to say it SMART. It’s the best way to increase the chances of achieving your it.

Photo by juliakoz